~~~~~By Akshvi<3
today I want to talk about
how to be selfish and how to not feel
guilty about it now this video is one
with good intentions so I don’t want you
to watch this and be like oh finally an
why you need to be selfish
excuse for me to be a selfish awful
human being it’s not about that so if
you’re someone that is way too giving
emotionally financially and time wise
you’re gonna get the short end of the
stick……………….that’s why you need to learn to be
selfish now I have always been an
individual that was highly empathetic
since I was a child I would always
be the person to like jump in and save
someone like even still to this day a
little bit I am captain save a drowning
now when I was younger it
got to the point where I realized
helping everyone around me and putting
everyone before me was actually very
detrimental and it made me very
miserable I vividly remember when I
entered University you know at this
point in time I was not really familiar
with patterns and my behaviors I was not
self-aware I was 18 years old and I just
realized at some point why am I doing
these things and putting myself in these
certain situations which is hurting me
and I’m not like getting any benefit out
of it
so then I made this pact with
myself that I was going to learn to be
more selfish and that I was going to
start to put myself first and I’ve done
that ever since now this doesn’t
how to be selfish
necessarily just mean I’m not saving
people or I’m not helping people it
means number one I used to always pick
friends with people who were drowning….
basically
I’d always be like oh I have to save
them subconsciously but I stopped
picking friends like that number one and
I guess you can say that selfish
whatever don’t care number two if
someone was drowning I will throw you a
life raft
but if you don’t want to get in that’s
not my problem if you want to drown I’m
going to let you drown simple as that
because the the more you try to help
people you’ll realize some people do not
want to be helped some people would
rather drown
as time went on I realized it’s not my
responsibility I throw you a life rafter
you don’t want to get in I am not
jumping in to drown with you number
three
if you are not selfish with your
emotions and your time you will not get
fire in life and you will not be able to
pour into your own cup and you know the
saying you need to pour into your own
cup before you can pour into other
people’s cup now I used to always pour
into other people’s cup and then I had
nothing for me and then I would be
depressed and I couldn’t do anything and
guess what then I could no longer help
those people anymore…….
you actually just kind of have to learn
to switch off or ignore I used to feel
guilty for everything whether or not it
was related to me as well I would feel
bad for everything like I said I was
Captain Save everyone so I walk
by a homeless person and I would
genuinely start crying since I was a
child I’d go on vacation and I couldn’t
enjoy vacation because I would sit there
at the dinner table and think why am I
sitting here and you’re all sitting
there now what is the point of not
enjoying my vacation or crying when I
say a homeless person quite literally
nothing I’m wasting time and energy
because realistically I’m not going to
be able to save them I’m not I can’t
save every person in the world
so that’s something the past two years
I’ve been really good at switching off I
can say something that would make me
really upset and instead of being upset
to the extent I used to be I genuinely
just say well that sucks
or like I hope I could do something one
day but
there’s really no point being sad about
something that I cannot directly help
this also relates to friends and family
as well like I’m not going to get into
switching off empathy
personal details but my mom developed
this condition in her legs and like
watching her in pain all the time it
made me so upset but I knew there was
nothing I could do about it but what
happened last year was I would just see
this and I would see her in pain all the
time
and then it would actually debilitate me
like I wouldn’t I was not able to sleep
properly or work because I would be so
upset about it and then
it was I don’t know then at some point I
low he switched off that feeling like I
would see her in pain and be like
I gotta get on with it really like if I
want to help my mum one day I can’t be
sitting around being sad about this I
need to go work
that’s the only way I can probably
indirectly help her with this one day
you know through like financial
resources and also doing well myself you
do need to learn to be a little bit cold
especially if you were someone that is
very empathetic and very giving
I can absolutely switch off my empathy
now because I have to genuinely I think
when you go through a lot as a person it
will be easier for you to switch it off
as well because you genuinely look at
life and you’re like well life
isn’t fair damn that sucks sorry for
your situation wish I could help you but
I gotta pour into my own Cup right now
and I also know if I want to achieve
putting yourself first
everything that I want in life and if I
want to help everybody that I want in
life I really need to be selfish with my
time and my energy right now and that
means I need to put me first I can’t put
other people first obviously everything
is situational circumstantial but yes in
general I do put myself first I think
something that’s really important to
know is that you are not really
responsible for other people as well
like
I said I used to take on the burden
of everyone even if they wouldn’t
directly put that burden onto me I would
naturally take it on and then my mom
said to me it’s not actually your
responsibility you don’t have to feel
this way and then I was like huh true
and then I started to shed those burdens
that sucks sorry that’s happened to
you not my responsibility I will try to
help you one day but I’m very cold about
it now I’m very cold and that’s why when
people come to me with their problems
genuinely I don’t really react now I’m
just like okay
like I’m sorry for you
but I’m not gonna cry you a river
because I genuinely can’t do that to
myself right now don’t get this confused
for being cold towards someone in need
sometimes people genuinely do need you
in that moment they need your help you
and no like I said circumstantial is
situational in situations like that I do
not turn my empathy off I’m there but
like I said if someone is perpetually
drowning you throw them the life raft
it’s just sitting there I’m not
gonna jump in to drown myself with you
if you’re not getting into the life raft
okay now how do you not feel guilty I
feel like I have touched on that
my guilt my emotions and I say damn
that sucks but additionally I do say to
myself that I kind of try to justify my
selfishness by saying like I’m going to
help you one day
when I can but I need to pour into my
wrinkle first I mean that’s how I I feel
guilty about it
but it’s true that there is so much
shitty things going on in the world
there are so many people who have got
the shorter end of the stick and I just
learned I cannot waste my time being sad
So that’s from my side 🥂Hope you like this blog 💠see you in next blog with an amazing topic to enhance your self growth and happiness…..
~~~~~~By Akshvi<3
High Vibes Haven 