~~~~~~~by Akshvi <<3
I wanted to
talk about how to protect yourself from
getting hurt
okay we’re going to be going into
setting boundaries having standards and
also just realizing that you can
actually choose to not be her high
standards protect you from low quality
experiences it’s true and if you’re
someone that is very very afraid of
being hurt again just know that low-key
half of it is in your control and I’ll
give you an example let’s say you got
out of a really bad relationship
okay you saw the red flags from the
beginning you kept giving that person
chances
and you ended up getting hurt
looking back you can probably say that
it was
a little bit on you you saw the red
flags and you chose to ignore it every
person or most people at least they have
red flags and we ignore it for different
reasons
maybe they’re attractive maybe
we were already attached and didn’t know
how to let go maybe they had money or
something that you liked but it’s your
responsibility to acknowledge those red
flags and then GTFO so when I came out
of my first ever relationship I would
not actually say that my boyfriend at
the time hurt me
I hurt myself I hurt myself by being
with him by base and by staying with him
and that truly traumatized me and I
think to this day I had never fully
forgiven myself however I have never
actually made the mistake again of
seeing a red flag and then you know
dating that person I see a red flag I
don’t give you a chance I’m gone you
know I don’t like people who say oh
maybe like just try give them a chance
get to know them more no
no I’m not putting myself in a position
again to get hurt and I will say this I
am only willing to get hurt if I think
that person is worth getting hurt for
AKA let’s say you fall in love with a
person you don’t but you don’t really
think they have red flags naturally you
can’t avoid getting hurt in all arenas
so let’s say you know you’re in a
relationship with them certain things
happen
you get hurt whatever
I’m willing
to get hurt in that scenario because it
was worth it but you know when it’s not
worth it when you see the red flags when
you know they’re not the type of person
you want yet you continue to waste your
time on them and you see those tick
tocks where it’s like fumbling the guy
who was perfect for me and then the
girl’s like totally unbothered or
fumbling the guy that was in my league
unbothered and then it cuts through
fumbling the guy who I was out of there
like fumbling the [ __ ] guy and you know
why we actually feel emotion towards the
ladder it’s because we know that we
shouldn’t have been with them we know
that we shouldn’t have even been wasting
our time on them and that’s why it hurts
that’s why we are bothered by it after
that breakup I was so traumatized
genuinely I didn’t forgive myself….
I was like Simone you’re such an idiot
for saying this long I was 19 by the way
first relationship you saw the red flags
yet you stayed and I really like I
really didn’t forgive myself and I was
terrified of this repeating until there
was at some moment in time I realized
I could choose to not go through that
again and quite frankly I have not gone
through that again or if I’ve not gone
through anything remotely similar
because now I have boundaries now I see
red flags in five minutes I can see it
so clearly go watch my how to get over
someone video I go into red flags a
little bit in there but quickly what I
said in that video was that it only
takes one tiny red flag
for you to extrapolate on that data for
example let’s say you’re sick when
you’re not feeling very well and you
bring it up to that person and if they
completely ignore it or you can tell
They Don’t Really Care you can
extrapolate that to be like maybe
they’re not going to be that caring in
the relationship maybe they’re not that
attentive as a person and I find this to
be very true guys I collected my data
and I’m a psychology student it’s very
true it doesn’t just stick in one Arena
I go it it’s everywhere how one person
does one thing is how they do everything
just based on the fact how one person
does one thing is how they do everything
you can see red flags very very quickly
and then you can like decide if you want
to leave or not put up with it or not
put up with it
for example there was
this guy I was talking to recently and
he was honestly great in most areas but
there were some things I couldn’t ignore
like right now I have some Joy issue
where like my jaw [ __ ] pops out of
the socket it’s displaced anyways this
dude he kept wanting to call me and this
was around the time where my condition
developed and I got diagnosed and I was
very upset and I didn’t want to talk to
anyone
stewed calls me of course he calls me
Hello can we talk and I’m like no I’ve
got this thing going on right now and I
can’t really talk
and you know what his reply is it’s not
like oh my God I’m sorry you’re going
through that or how are you doing what
can I do to help his response is how
about I call you and you just listen to
me speak and I just want to see your
face..
so like right off the bat I can
extrapolate that data he will put
himself first lack of attention lack of
care versus one of my other friends we
went out to dinner and he was like so
worried about my issue and he’s like I
will only order soft food for you he was
worried about me flying he’s like okay
do these things to help your ear
pressure and you see that is someone who
is caring and you want someone that is
caring so guys it’s just little things
you need to watch how people react
to things you do give you another
example there was this guy I knew he was
wealthy okay he was a footballer he was
on like a 30 million pound contract
don’t even bother going through my
following we don’t follow each other but
he was like weirdly really bitter and
jealous towards me I remember I was like
oh I’m in Thailand at the moment and he
goes must be nice
he was always cold never happy for me
and I’m thinking broth must be nice
being on a 30 million pound contract per
year and yes from that little thing I
could extrapolate and I talked to him
for a bit it did play out in the way I
expected where he was bitter very
jealous
he was not happy with his life and he
low-key did not want me to be happy I
have a lot of Peace in my life knowing
that getting hurt is in my control like
I said I will get hurt if I think that
person is worth it because I will get
hurt in a different way I’m not going to
get hurt from myself by going and being
with someone that has red flags I
ignored because I think getting hurt
from yourself it is so much worse like
guys if I got into a relationship right
now where I saw some of those red flags
and I ignored it I will never ever
forgive myself I will truly never
[ __ ] forgive myself because at the
end of the day you protect yourself and
if there is no one else protecting me
I’m going to protect myself and it’s the
same for you so you really need to set
these boundaries oh my God I can’t even
describe how many times
I made up with a subscriber that has boy
issues you know I made myself when I
travel and unfortunately a lot of the
time these people treat me like a
[ __ ] therapist then I never save them
again anyways so they tell me that boy
issues and then
they’ll say to me yeah I know I should
say this guy like they’ll tell me about
the most horrific man you’ve ever heard
of like cheats on them blah blah
tomorrow and I know I shouldn’t be with
the sky but yeah but XYZ good qualities
but he hurts me so much but he cheats me
every day and I’m like
I’m like how do you even watch me how do
you even watch me how do you even say
you are subscribed to me when you’re
doing things like this
people make excuses people make excuses
when they like someone
I don’t make excuses because I’m so
traumatized by what I did to myself when
I was 19.
I truly think some people need to go
through a traumatic breakup
where they betrayed themselves in order
for them to learn their lesson and I’m
so grateful that I learned all of my
lessons in my first relationship because
I never made the mistake ever again I
have never settled I will never settle I
don’t give my energy and my time to
someone who I don’t think is worth it as
well if I see red flags I don’t stick
around what to the point where I’m
invested in them and then I get hurt or
attached I don’t do that to myself and
that has brought
a lot of Peace into my life now like I
said earlier you can’t avoid getting
hurt but it’s a different type of herb
right if you’re say you know you met
someone you’re in love with you think
they’re a great person naturally I think
in the relationship there will be little
things that hurt you it can’t be avoided
maybe they do something you don’t like
maybe you keep telling them to do
something and they don’t end up doing it
you get hurt okay but that is very very
different to the type of hurt where
you’re betraying yourself and you’re
betraying your standards and your
boundaries and whatever you stand for
okay
hope you guys enjoyed this video I’m
gonna quickly film a lot more videos
right now
love you guys have a great rest of your
day
So yeah guys that’s from my side hope you loving it see you next blog love…love..
High Vibes Haven 